Mai Bahoot Bore Ho Gayee

A letter from a former fan...

Dear SRK,

What is with this South obsession ?
Please be content with the "Bollywood Badshah" title. Pray, DO NOT - DO NOT , try and emulate Rajnikanth. Not, ever going to happen.

I used to think you to be a versatile actor having seen you in Fauji and Circus in my teens; though after a few movies you took to hamming like Devdas to the bottle. These were still pardonable with the overly melodramatic plots and roles, and considering the rare movies like ChakDe , Swadesh or even Paheli where you showed glimpses of  what you started with. But hamming in a slapstick comedy?  Please leave that to Jim Carrey. Do remember, we are seeing your face on a huge wide screen after paying close to 500 bucks.

(Pass on critical sections of this letter to Rohit Shetty too ..)

Chennai Express, is a movie constructed in bits from various Bollywood and Tamil movies.
Did you guys even need to copy the scene where the villain getting the slush washed off him by his cronies outside a temple (from Gilli)?; If I recall well, the ending too was straight out a couple of Vijay movies?

Dude, you guys need to understand that this lacked the split second comic timing and the "mass-do-gooder" hero of a rajnikanth movie. It neither had the intelligent and at times poignant, unassuming wit of a Kamal Hassan movie? Have you by any chance as part of your homework watched Pammal K Sambandham ? Notice any OTT hamming there?

As an attempt to get this running in South India, this film at best can be likened to a hyper-stylised Sundar.C film on steroids.
Was there even any attempt to put logic in the story? Why on earth would a girl running "away" from her dad (who happens to live in tamil nadu),  get on to a train coming to Chennai from Mumbai ?

Music - well , "Ban ke titli dil uda" was the only one that was rememberable.

Costumes - did you by any chance borrow Kanaka's Karakattakkaran outfit for Priya Mani? or did you just want to cut down on the cost of using flash for filming that song - so much bling!!!
I'd personally like to speak to the costume designer for the lungi song at the rolling credits - seriously - garish and yuck!!


Decency and my ingrained South Indian culture demand that I add something good about the movie.
Deepika Padukone.

You did the good thing by adding top billing to her. She so deserves it.
Though her Tamil doesn't cut the scratch, she has proven that she could do comedy, and fares quite well at that. It certainly helps that she is a stunner even in the garish costume that is given to her in her introduction scene.

Hmm  - all I can say is - Mai Bahoot Bore Ho Gayee ;
and hope Bhagwan teri  guidance karegi  for your future attempts at making movies ... :-(





  

The Mask

This was touted to be the first super-hero movie in tamil, though "Kandasami" that bombed a couple of years back too could have fitted the bill.

Had seen this movie soon after coming back to Bangalore in 2012. Being Tamil-starved for two whole years, had really looked forward to seeing this.

Mysskin has portrayed well in the first half the protagonist's attempts at anonymity, hiding behind a mask, and due to his good nature, unwittingly ending up as a masked crusader sans the steroids or superpower.  Jiiva as the eponymous "Mugamoodi", Nasser as the cop (yet again) have done their dues convincingly. Narain- well, would have looked better of with some facial foliage?? Gramps Girish Karnad, and Pooja Hegde as Mugamoodi's love interest did not have too much of space or character definition.

While the director scored on realism, in portraying angst and bonhomie, he sadly missed out on tightening the second half. Much of the audience started fidgeting, moving out for a second round of popcorns, and less forgiving patrons like G dozed off only to suddenly wake up and ask "Why are they all on a ship now? and who's this weirdo with the orange wig?"

 The climax especially ended up cartoony - what with the implausible tricks with a joker and the grandpa Girish Karnad dressed up as Sherlock wielding a taser!! Add to this a cliched ending, providing the ubiquitous escape clause to the villain - What Mugamoodi -2 much? 

Hope to see a less lengthy sequel from Mysskin with a less boring villain, a better fitting outfit for Jiiva (Hint! TDKR?)

To be honest, I did like this Karate Kid meets Spidey story for being more believable than Kandasamy.

Ironically when this was broadcast on SunTV yesterday, it was followed up back to back with a dubbed version of....... The Karate Kid !

Boy! they do know how to rub it in :-)

Life of Pi

Watched Life of Pi at PVR IMax Bangalore.

 

The story as we are reminded time and again is about a ship-wrecked teenagers survival on the Pacific aboard a lifeboat, with just a Royal Bengal tiger for company, a story to strengthen your belief in God! The God portion - felt like it was being thrust in just because the author thought to be consistent.
Having not read the book I am not in a position to compare it with Ang Lee's treatment of the story. There were portions we were left wondering...

 

Not withstanding the cliched South Indians or the mildly irritating Indian accent, the movie was quite a watch. The visual effects spared us from yawning and kept us hooked, open jawed at times. The director having paintstakingly put together every frame , as would an artist do a landscape on his canvas. They were at times overwhelming , So much so that the kids ( Karthik especially) watched it bug-eyed, never once disturbing us with a "Amma loo" or "Appa get me a cheese popcorn now -I'm sooo hungry".

And, boy, Richard Parker - What a tiger! Arguably the most beautiful CG creation till date.

 

A good half of the story crawls along with a Rushdie-esque story telling, interest picking up with the wrecking of the ship, and the later portions hanging on just to the strength of the visuals.

 

Hey, was the bikini even invented when Pi's mamaji visited the Piscine Molitor in Paris? I thought the bikini made its intro after Indian Indepedence. Gotta google and check.

 

And, meerkats on a spot of an island in the Pacific?  A carnivorous island, with carnivorous flowers? Really? How were the thousands of meerkats surviving then? Am sure if some of our பெரிசுகள் see this, they will surely ask "என்ன விட்டலாச்சார்யா படமா இது ?"

The inspiration-dried writer visiting the adult Pi said it all : "Well it is all too much to take in... Its incredible!!"
As we left Sripradha said " I could write a story like this!" Ganesh interrupted "Mine will be the Life of Gi!, Karthik's would be the Life of Ki !!"
 

An Evening with Mr.Bond - 4th Nov, 2012

And Mr. Bond: Spent close to 3 hours until midnight yday but im lost!
Granted I get the whole humanising Bond thing, and enjoyed it in the earlier outings of Daniel Craig. But hey, there is a certain devil-may-care attitude, jaw-dropping gadgetry and a convincing enough Intnl espionage plot expected, that makes a Bond film - all of which were missing in Skyfall. To top it, they had to make a perfe...

ctly good Javier Bardeim creepy with gross orthodontics and bad hair colour. And, whats with the Bond girls? Even they lacked the punch.
If not for the opening sequence on the train until the titles, it would have been a complete washout. To rinse this memory away, I'm finishing up Sunday lunch quickly, dusting away my archives and settling for the afternoon with an earlier more suave Mr.Bond.